There is this scenario that has become like an everyday thing that I now kind of expect it whenever I’m with people, at first it would make my skin crawl but now I think I like it, I don’t see the harm anymore.
Whenever I’m out and about, maybe doing shopping or running some errands, I always get that ‘look’, I wish it was just because I’m beautiful (hahaha), but it’s not a regular adoring stare but rather it’s that curious expression behind it, and when I stare back I feel people want to engage in a conversation but at times they hesitate or they don’t know what to say, some ask weird questions like, “How are you feeling?” (now that’s weird), “What happened to you?”, someone gazes overly and see that I have no signs of injuries or pain and wonder why she’s in a wheelchair, she looks totally ‘normal’, you wouldn’t see anything wrong, then “why is she not normal?” Oftentimes, I feel weird I don’t even know how to respond, so I respond depending on the mood of the day, I remember the other day, I went like:
Oh…. what does ‘normal’ look like?
My disability has been with me since day 1 so really this is me, this is how I know myself and it’s my living day in and day out and it’s my “normal’ I can’t be anything else but me. What is normal anyway?
In terms of life, ‘normal’ is the individualized experiences that one learns to live with, it is the outside world that contributes to the feeling of abnormality, so personally, I try to live my life from inside out more than the other way so that I can fully realize my individuality.
When unlike circumstances happen in life that can be life-changing, we have to adjust and it’s up to us to choose to adjust or to fight the situation. Fighting the circumstances will always result in depression, anxiety, frustration and to some extent it can be suicidal. Adjusting and flowing with the current of life gives you room to move on with life, it’s not like you are giving up but rather accepting the reality.
Practice acceptance and embrace your normal. Concentrate your efforts on how you will constructively navigate your way through it and deal with it. After all, none of us is normal anyway, everyone is unique and different in his or her own way. and to be different is weird but also very beautiful, why not stand out from crowd and let them stare and see you in your individuality, your own ‘normal’ and give meaning to it. I don’t struggle to get attention wherever I am and I now enjoy that, considering some of the weird stuff some “normal peeps” do or wear just to get people’s attention.
You are the salt of the earth, play the game of life well and let the world taste your unique flavor of salt.
There is more to life than what meets the eye, embrace your difference and celebrate uniqueness!